Tuesday, October 18, 2011

What I'm Missing

If you've been reading this blog since the day I made it, you pretty know that nursing isn't my 1st choice. In high school, I've always wanted to become a chemical engineer but due to some circumstances, I ended up taking a bachelor's degree in nursing.

In the midst of this morning's contemplation with regards to my career path, precious moments that I had with my patients came back as if reminding me why I stayed on this profession.I have no patience with people who keep on equating nursing with money though I admit it was my reason in college why I took it in the first place. But things have changed and so is my perception on this profession because of these people:

*Patient A
Patient A was a 5-year old boy suffering from ALL (acute lymphocytic leukemia). The family was financially incapacitated. Each time I attend to the needs of Patient A, I couldn't help but get involved emotionally. I just couldn't stand the fact that the boy is too young to suffer like that. The interventions I provided him wasn't really that great but the family's 'THANK YOUs' and seeing the boy in a state of tranquility (which is just one of those rare moments because he's always in pain) are more than enough to compensate for that 8-hour workload. 

A week after, we were transferred to another ward. One afternoon as I was taking some sleep from a graveyard shift, I dreamt of my patient. When I woke up, I saw a message on my phone. It was Patient A's aunt informing me that my patient passed away that morning. It was heartbreaking because I was planning to visit the boy the following day. Definitely, it was one of the saddest moments of my life as a student nurse.

*Patient B
Patient B is a 3-year old kid suffering from a skin condition. I don't have any problem with the kid, only with her family. It all started with the skin test of which I failed to administer in just one try. When the kid's mom came into the room, she started asking me what school I'm from, etc. I totally understand her sentiments (she's a mom, ok?)but I hope they'll act more professionally. The second time I went to the patient's room, I'm feeling anxious because the mother and the grandmother are making me feel intimidated but nonetheless I did my best in rendering care. Things have changed when I started giving them health teachings. A couple of minutes after, as they were about to transfer to another ward, they called me asking about the patency of the IV tube and you know what's surprising? It's when they asked me if I would still be her kiddo's nurse. I know, it isn't a big deal; it's just that it's amazing to think how things can change if you just keep an open mind and focus on the job and not your emotion.

*Patient C
Kids and oldies will always have a special space in my heart. Patient C is one of my recent patients. I started caring for him 5 months ago. He is at first irritable when I'm around but a few months of giving him medications and health teachings, we became friends. During my last day of being his private nurse, as I was about to leave, he asked me if I'll not be leaving him some health teachings (his wife and I had discussed a lot of stuff that I forgot to give him the health teachings). I provided him some health teachings and to my surprise, he told his wife (while pointing at me),"hawd mohatag og advice" (she's good at giving advice). That compliment and thank you are priceless. 

Recalling these experiences made me stop and think if I'll still be going for a different field. Now, I can say that I love nursing. I didn't choose it, it chose me.

One thing that I just don't like in the practice of this profession in this country is having to pay for rendering FREE service. Volunteerism/training has it's purpose but why do we have to pay for it? I just couldn't get it. Also, the fields of nursing in the Philippines are limited compared to the wide array of choices one has in other countries.

Why, oh why?

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